It's been 238 days since my last post. It's amazing what has happened between now and then.
This is supposed to be a place to write about knitting but I can't explain my absence without writing about my personal life.
My husband is an alcoholic. We started dating at 19 and immediately fell madly in love. We liked to hang with friends, have parties and entertain. That always included drinking.
Fast forward more than a decade and the drinking never slowed down. Not after marriage, our first kid or our second. It began to increase as the demands of family and growing up replaced our socializing with friends.
The exact opposite of what I knew was supposed to happen.
Things got really bad around 2009 and sped downhill rapidly in 2010. This is not my first dance when it comes to loving an alcoholic and I knew I could only voice my worries and wait to see who's breaking point came first, mine or his.
My husband wanted to lose some weight and started eating less. And less. And less. 30 pounds disappeared rapidly.
Last winter we were beaten down with massive snowstorms, feet upon feet of snow. My husband wasn't shoveling. Complained his boots were no good. Also was complaining that things kept hitting/falling on his feet and they hurt.
Into the new year his gait got strange. He stopped coming up stairs. Stopped sleeping in our bed. I knew something was wrong and tried to urge him to see a doctor. I could have been talking to a rock. He refused. Because he was scared and knew he didn't want his fear to be real.
Then one night in February he stubbed his toe and collapsed in pain. Absolutely lost it and I hit my breaking point right then and there. I was done.
I called my sister to watch my kids and I took my husband to the ER. I wouldn't take no for an answer.
After a bunch of tests and tears he was told his alcoholism caused his liver to swell dangerously. He was diagnosed with neuropathy.
Our primary care physician did more tests and my husband was terribly malnourished. He had been eating the barest minimum of food and getting all his calories from whisky.
Without going into all the details two things were clear. Jim had to stop drinking to save his life and we were looking at long-term, possibly permanent damage. He elected to quit drinking and was determined to do his detox at home. He refused rehab. We couldn't take him to AA as we really couldn't get him in and out of new buildings and he couldn't drive. We just got through it.
He did contact AA online and skyped with a sponsor (in Estonia! The internet makes the world very small!). After two or three months he stopped with the sponsor and has continued to do great.
After a couple months of taking massive amounts of vitamins and ibuprofen he began to take physical therapy. Then he stared driving. He gave up the air bed in the living room and came upstairs again.
He has made so much recovery it's astounding. Like medically unheard of to be almost cured of neuropathy from the state he was in after 7 months. Our doctor initially predicted 3-5 years with the cane.
We are not the people we were last year. Our whole dynamic has changed. Our perspectives, our priorities, hopes and dreams and our day-to-day living is just all new. And it's wonderful.
AA isn't out of the question, it's a valuable resource and eventually we'll give it a go. We're not against AA but it's not for us right now. I encourage anyone who thinks they or someone they love has a problem with alcohol to check out a meeting.
In knitting news there are all sorts of things to talk about and I can't wait to get back to writing again. Thanks to commenter Lauren for nudging me back to blogging. It's the right time, I'm in the right state of mind and I'm happy to be here.